


Cloudy with a chance of fish

by doomed_spectacles



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Apocalypse, Aziraphale and Crowley are sirs not appearing in this fic, Book Omens, Ficlet, Fish, Gen, Humor, Original Character(s), Raining fish, TV News, Weather
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:02:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27693151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doomed_spectacles/pseuds/doomed_spectacles
Summary: The end of the world, tonight at nine. But first, weather!(No fictional weather reporters were harmed in the writing of this ficlet. Can't guarantee all the fish made it, though.)“It does look rather ominous out there, Steve! What else can you tell us about this storm?”“Well Marcia, and Bob I think you’ll agree, the unusual thing about this storm is the fish.”
Comments: 12
Kudos: 17
Collections: Genuary 2021, NTA #10 - GO Events Server - Cumulonimbus





	Cloudy with a chance of fish

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the go_events server's guess-the-author game with the prompt: Cumulonimbus.
> 
> Thank you to [Pyracantha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyracantha) for hosting and supplying the prompt! (And allowing this book nonsense to stand, LOL.)

“As you can see, Marcia, there appears to be a large storm moving north, bringing a significant amount of rain.”

“It does look rather _ominous_ out there, Steve! What else can you tell us about this storm?”

“Well Marcia, and Bob I think you’ll agree, the unusual thing about this storm is the fish.”

“I think you’re right about that, Steve! We’re getting complaints as far away as Swindon. My patio furniture is ruined! Tell us what you’re seeing out there.”

“Right, Bob. Well, I’m seeing lots of trout and your basic mackerels. Some great big salmon. You’d love to get some of these on your dinner table, Marcia! The sharks are a bit harder for me to identify but I’m being told by producers we’ll have a marine biologist on the programme later. Just a minute ago I saw a meter-long Atlantic cod, which I’m sure you can imagine would be quite hazardous to a driver as it comes down.”

“I’ll bet! We’ll have Mark on in a few minutes to talk about traffic, which I gather is confusing folks at the moment. But while we have you, Steve, what type of clouds are those?”

“Well, on a normal day, I’d say cumulonimbus.”

“Those are my favorite types of clouds. Marcia, how about you?”

“I just like to say the word, Bob. Cumulonimbus!”

“It’s a fun word to say, Marcia.”

“Right, but as I was saying, with the fish situation, Bob, Marcia, I don’t know that we can classify these as your typical cumulonimbus.”

“Mmm, good point, Steve.”

“As you see, the fish are piling up. We’ve got quite a big stack here blocking the M6. I had a conversation with local authorities, who told me they contacted the Council to report unauthorized marine wildlife but they haven’t heard back.”

“Are they worried about endangered species, do you think Steve?”

“It’s possible, Marcia, but I think the bigger concern right now, and again, I’m just speculating here, is that fish are raining down from the sky.”

“Understood. Thanks for keeping us in the loop, Steve. We’ll be coming back to you as the situation develops.”

“Thank you, Bob, Marcia. Back to you in the studio.”

Steve tucked his microphone into his coat pocket and jogged back to the van. He tried not to step on a stream of guppies swimming about in the cracked asphalt. Poor little bastards. Once inside the van, he slammed the door shut and put on the windscreen wipers.

“Found Nemo,” he said, chuckling as a bright orange fish traveled across the glass.

In the rear mirror, he spotted a group of four bikers headed straight for the fishy pile-up. He opened the door to get a better look. The police sergeant he’d talked to was sitting on top of his car, shaking a lobster off his trouser leg.

After the collision, while they waited for the ambulances, Steve muttered to himself, “Lobsters. Forgot to mention the lobsters.”


End file.
